A loving father tucked his young daughter into bed and quoted the same words from the Bible every night. “And be ye kind one to another . . .” (Ephesians 4:32, KJV) Day by day, and night by night, the little girl learned the way of kindness. Did you learn that simple Bible verse as a child?
Somehow, we have forgotten about kindness. In our divided, fractured, polarized, gone-crazy world, we left kindness behind some time ago. This is even true in church, where the concept should never be forgotten. The Apostle Paul wanted to make sure that we knew how followers of Jesus are to behave in the world. He was good at making lists, and three of them come to mind. He writes about the “fruit of the Spirit” in Galatians 5:22-23 and lists nine qualities that the Spirit bears in our lives like fruit that is produced from an apple tree. In Colossians 3:12-17 he moves from the image of fruit to the image of clothing, encouraging followers of Jesus to “clothe yourselves” in a list of qualities that wrap around our lives and behaviors. Then in 2 Corinthians 6:6-7, he puts himself up as an example (“we have commended ourselves”) of life as a follower of Jesus and gives another list of qualities. Three lists – and on each one is the word “kindness.”
The Greek word that is used in each list is chrestotes. Wanting to understand the meaning of the word fully, I dusted off my Theological Dictionary of the New Testament (otherwise known as “Kittel” after the name of one of the editors). Under the heading for this word, I found a wonderful scholarly statement. “When Paul commends chrestotes to Christians in the lists of virtues in his epistles, we do not interpret either this word or the related virtues enumerated with it correctly if we simply regard them as formulae taken from the Cynic-Stoic tradition and having a general humanitarian content. In them, the apostle is, in fact, expressing the great experience that God’s love, which is revealed in Christ and shed abroad in the hearts of His people by the Spirit, works itself out in them as chrestotes towards their neighbours.” Let me translate – kindness is not some human virtue that comes from our basic goodness but is a spiritual quality that comes from the love of God revealed in Jesus. Therefore, we bear kindness as a fruit of the Spirit, and we wear it as the clothing of Christ. As we have received the love of God through Christ, we pass this love along to others in the form of kindness. Maybe this is why the same Apostle Paul also wrote that “love is patient; love is kind . . .” (1 Corinthians 13:4, NRSV)
Kindness is not another word for the good old Southern concept of “nice” that is often only a thin veneer of civility in relationship to others. Instead, chrestotes is a word filled with power and substance. We see it not only applied to Christians but also to God. Who among us has not learned the great words from Ephesians 2:8-10 that describe our salvation in Christ? “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing, it is the gift of God – not the result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are what he has made us, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand to be our way of life.” (NRSV) We are good at memorizing those words but miss the verse that comes right before. Ephesians 2:7 reads, “ . . .so that in the ages to come he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.” (NRSV) There is the same word again – kindness (chrestotes). Now it describes the powerful saving work of God in Christ! By grace, God showed kindness toward us. So, don’t you think kindness is to be found in some of the “good works” for Christians mentioned in verse 10?
Each year, the Merriam-Webster Dictionary selects their words for the year. These words represent the most-searched words in their online dictionary. In 2023, the word of the year was “authentic.” Editor at large Peter Sokolowski told The Associated Press, “We see in 2023 a kind of crisis of authenticity. We realize that when we question authenticity, we value it even more.” We have a crisis of authenticity in our churches when the kindness God showed toward us through Jesus is not something that we share with others.
The second definition of “authentic” listed in Merriam-Webster is “conforming to an original so as to reproduce essential features” with the example of “an authentic reproduction of a colonial farmhouse.” Our churches will present a more winsome, authentic, and healthy witness to the world the more that our kindness to one another and to our communities will conform to The Original, who showed “immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.” Healthy churches are communities of healthy, authentic Christians who look like and live like the qualities in the lists given to us by the Apostle Paul.
The father’s name was Bruce, and his little girl was Jane. Night after night, her life was slowly shaped by the saying and hearing of Ephesians 4:32 at bedtime. Kindness formed in her life, and for the last 45 years, I have received the blessing of this kindness from the little girl who became my wife. Also, for fifty years, churches have received this kindness as Jane Shannon Hull has ministered in South Carolina, Kentucky, North Carolina, South Carolina again, Tennessee, Alabama, Georgia, and North Carolina again. Thousands of people have been touched by her vibrant and transformational ministry grounded in this quality of kindness. Yesterday, Jane retired from ministry as Pastor of the First Christian Church in Lincolnton, NC. Tomorrow, she turns seventy. Today, in her honor, I write about this biblical concept of kindness that she beautifully exhibits in her life and ministry.
Just as I have seen in the experiences of a little girl named Jane, kindness is learned day by day. What are you learning about kindness? What are you teaching?
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